welcome to the club!

love me, love me not?

*Google picture courtesy*

Bila orang lain ada boipren, kita pun sama sibuk-sibuk nak ada boipren. Bila dah ada boipren, baru lah tahu langit tu tinggi ke rendah. Having a partner doesn't mean you're being loved all the time. no. naaaaaaa. that was so true on so many levels. yes, they might love you but we didn't know is it true or not. siapa pun boleh kata sayang kan? aku pun boleh je suka-suka kata sayang. sebut sajalah (tanpa makna), bukanlah susah pun kan. people can always tell you that they love you, tapi tak tahulah betul ke atau mainan kata percuma.

Dulu, selalu sangat terfikir, kenapa ye agaknya orang perempuan senang sangat menitiskan airmata bila hati terusik dengan si boipren. dan aku, selalu beranggapan, menangis tu bukanlah satu cara yang cool. apa salahnya kalau sembur je balik boipren tu bila kita sakit dengan dia. That was then, when i thought they're just too dumb too cry. (sorry, this is only an opinion, no hard feelings, no heart feelings) 

But now i know why the heck were they crying damn hard, nak-nak bila bergaduh dengan boipren-yang-tak-paham-perasaan-manusia-perempuan ni. sakit hati yang hanya boleh diterjemahkan dalam tangisan. how's that sound? gay? whatever. i dont really care. only women understands women. so, im welcome-ing myself to the club. and now i can call myself dumb too. duhhhhhhh.

still, in the end..

notes for you :

1. all we need are your support, attention and love.

2. women are complicated. we might need your ears often.

3.you're not PEPSI and we didn't ask for more.

notakakiwangi : everything's a mess. i need my arjuna hati, unfortunately he will never be there for me.

Dugaan

Sebelumnya kau pergi

Renunglah ku di sini

Kerna mungkin terjadi

Kita takkan bersua lagi

Anggaplah pertemuan ini

Mungkin yang terakhir

Dan tak usah

Kita kesali 

Atas apa yang terjadi

Banyaknya pengorbanan

Telah ku pertaruhkan

Mungkin tiada bermakna

Telah banyak mengguris rasa

Untuk itu maafkanku

Kiranya menggangu ketenagan

Dalam hid

up mu yang tak perlu kehadiranku

Dugaan…

Inikah dugaan untukku

Hujungnya yang tak seindah mimpi

Hanyalah igauan ngeri

Kau yang pernah ku rindu

Mudahnya berlaku

Mengapa begitu

Berubah layu

Aku menerima

Salam perpisahan

Segalanya sebagai ingatan 

Biarlah impianku kan berlalu dengan mu

Nora : Renungan terakhir

notakakiwangi : kepala terasa terlalu berserabut. entah dimana arjuna hati. =,=

a bad, bad day...

*google picture courtesy*

• kena paksa pergi aerobik lepas subuh.
• balik dari net entah ape2 lupe dah aku, hampir-hampir dilanggar. cisss.
• waited for almost an hour dekat kaunter bas Transnasional (Bahau). *panashati. kerja baik-baik la bhai. orang bayar gaji boleh pulak goyang kaki*
• hampir berlanggar lagi masa nak keluar parking kt Bahau. lajunye kau bawak abang. baru sesaat aku pandang takde kereta, macam mana kau tiba-tiba muncul hon aku??? haih
• sampai kampung. OMG. siapa je yang warna rumah atuk aku dengan warna pink??? kihkihkih. aku baru berangan nak cat rumah tu dengan warna coklat muda ke, kuning air ke..
• Kuala Pilah jammed gila. this is why i wish for an auto car. dan bas!!! kau sangat menjengkelkan!! kau fikir kau besar aku takut ke??? sorry sikit. padan muka kau. kalah jugak dengan aku. cisss. bas tu depan aku, then it stopped sebab ada orang nak turun. aku potonglah, adeke patut die himpit-himpit kereta aku tak bagi aku jalan depan die. F lah kau bas! *memang kesabaran dah habis ni* pastu die saja nak provok aku, men cucuk-cucuk pulak. double F u shit!!!
• sampai rumah 8.40pm. OMG!!! bas pukul 8.45pm. rushing gila pergi Terminal 1.
• finally, im home. bas dah meninggalkan aku. try juga kejar, tapi tak dapat jugak. haih. 
• huuuuu double triple bla bla bad day.
• dua hari aku kena ponteng kuliah tahu???? 

notakakiwangi : jagalah kau pakcik bas. kalau aku jumpa kau lagi, aku bocorkan tayar bas kau! wahahaha *as if aku akn jumpelah kan..in my dreams. 

notakakikakiwangi : i shouldnt talk nor commenting on facebook bila hati tengah berkecamuk. i end up spilling something that i shouldnt have said. sorry to those yang terkena. *sigh

notanotakakiwangi : the good thing is, i don't have to go to class for two days. which means no migrains. HAHA

sabarlah hati...

kebelakangan ni, semua yang dulu tidak menjadi masalah, dah menjadi satu masalah dan punca aku sakit hati tahap 'boleh-tak-kalau-aku-lempang-kepala-kau-laju-laju?'. dan aku tak tahu kenapa. =,=

selalu je aku terfikir kenapalah dalam hidup ni, ada juga manusia yang menganggap perkara yang sumpah-tak-penting-nak-mampus sebagai satu perkara yang penting?

selalu juga aku terfikir kenapalah ada orang sayang gila dekat orang tu sedangkan orang tu hanya cari dia masa dia berada dalam kesusahan. this is maybe a lil bit harsh, but i do feel that u're stupid enough that you can't even realize that he's using you when he's in need. kalau aku lah kan, bye bye sayang. u dont care, so i should not care though. (my words are maybe harsh, but im experiencing the same situation . . . err right now. HAHA)

kadang-kadang, kita tak sedar yang perlakuan atau kata-kata kita mengguris hati seseorang. dan peliknya, kita tidak pernah untuk bertanya mengapa, bila seseorang itu berkelakuan pelik atau menjauhkan diri dari kita. sedar-sedar, dia sudah pun terlalu jauh untuk digapai. 

notakakiwangi : sukarnya memujuk hati. ='(

fine

im fine. don't worry about me.

yeah, you're right. don't worry.

Google picture courtesy

notakakiwangi : something is torturing me. *hatipecah*

dia..dan janjinya

i hate people who did not keep their promises. 

notakakiwangi : ngeri rasanya bila dengan mata sendiri tengok kemalangan depan rumah. harap-harapnya, ayah dan anaknya yang dilanggar tu baik-baik sahaja (walaupun aku tahu tak adalah baik mana pun lepas dilanggar kuat oleh kereta sedangkan dia dan anaknya naik moto.) so drivers! be extra careful keyh?

tell me why

I took a chance, I took a shot
And you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not
You took a swing, I took it hard
And down here from the ground, I see who you are

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me then you cut me down

And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around

And here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me, why?

You could write a book on how
To ruin someone's perfect day
Well, I get so confused and frustrated
Forget what I'm trying to say, oh

I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I got no one to believe in
You tell me that you want me, then push me around

And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around

Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me, why?

Why do you have to make me feel small
So you can feel whole inside?
Why do you have to put down my dreams
So you're the only thing on my mind?

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you want me then cut me down

I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I've got no one to believe in
You ask me for my love then you push me around

Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me, why? Why? Tell me, why?

I take a step back, let you go
I told you I'm not bulletproof
Now you know


by : taylor swift

its pink. and its hot.

so here we go. bilik yang bewarna pink dan panasnya, Nauzubillah. macam nak kena letak kipas yang boleh keluar air tu kat bilik ni. tidur malam pun berpeluh-peluh apatah lagi kalau tidur siang. lencun. macam baru lepas mandi hujan. haha.

barang-barang memang banyak. kalau buat garage sale memang boleh kaya raya aku ni. the blue bed belongs to my roomate ; kak liza.

abaikan katil yang berselerak tu =,= 

there's mingming,kittybu and baby. i love them all =)

ex-sisme sekalian, masihkah kau ingat blanket biru tua sbpis? aku guna sampai sekarang tau! haha

so this is our kitchen. we cook here err for almost everyday. =)

in the mean time, living with all my housemates was great. and harapnya will still be the same for the next 3 years. Insyaallah. =)

give and take, thats how we live in this cruel world

1st situation : there's people who made mistakes and admit it.

2nd situation : there's also people who made mistakes and did not admit the mistakes they've commit. 

and i have no choice but to apologize for what i did not do. people won't apologizing for nothing, but i do. apologizing for nothing. 

we always thought that world's never been fair enough to us. but believe me, there's people who will never be fair to us.

 things happen for a reason, or reasons. 

notakakiwangi : and i don't think i can take everything as my fault anymore. im sorry. i can't tolerate much. you've gone too far from my limitation.